Day in My Life

I thought you all deserved the reason why my blog has been neglected. Here is a day in my life.

It’s 5am and the screeching of my alarm clock is shattering my dreams. My arm reaches out blindly searching of the off button without finding it. I crack my eyes open and silence the evil machine with more accuracy.

I roll over and hear a stack of books fall to the ground.   I deduce I’d fallen asleep in the middle of my homework. Squinting at the mess on the ground I groan and resolve to deal with it when I got home tonight.

It takes me about 45 minutes to shower, grab my pre-packed suitcase and get out the door. 9:40am has me opening my eyes in San Francisco. Without a second to rest I am swept into a dressing room and in no time I am standing in front of a camera ready to be Sexually Broken.

Lunch break had me sitting going over note cards back stage. When it is time to shoot again I throw off my robe (quite epically) and enthusiastically put on my sexy face.

7pm has me back at the airport. This time I spend the flight going over notes for the midterm I have the next day.

I am back to my house by 10pm. I immediately set my alarm for 6am and crawl back into bed.

In conclusion, I hope to get another blog post up before too long. In the mean time here’s a picture of my boobs!

endza2_038

You can see scene this picture came from here!

Until Next Time,

Endza

I Dream of Teacher

“Get on your knees.” My voice is thick with desire. This close I can see his eyes dilate with lust; he shakily follows my command. His glance flickers to my strapped-on cock. Mouth watering with anticipation, he waits for my command to take it into his mouth. As I nod my permission his lips circle my cock. With a hand in his hair and a thrust of my hips I am all the way down his throat. I feel the pressure from the cock against my cunt and moan with…

“Endza!… Endza!”

My delectable daydream shatters as I look guiltily up at the voice.   It belongs to the very professor I was imagining moments before. His expression is impatient, not at all like the expression that is still playing on the back of my eyelids. I shift in my seat, suddenly very aware of the wetness between my legs. I feel a blush rise to my cheeks as I ask him to repeat the question.

Thus is life with a teacher fetish.

Whether it is imagining my philosophy professor on the end of my silicone cock, or my muscular history professor slamming me down on the desk and fucking me, all the while telling me what a good little whore I am, it is a real challenge to pay attention in class.

The most distracting is my psychology professor; she delights the class daily with her tight skirts and lovely ass. I spend most of the two-hour long class imagining what she is wearing underneath. My money is on nothing.

My intense fantasy doesn’t end with the act itself. I think the hottest part would be having to sit in class the next day, knowing the teacher’s cock was in your mouth the night before. I would get so wet keeping my naughty secret. I would get wetter every time the teacher blushed when I answered a question.

Oh dear, my nipples are getting hard just thinking about it.

The fact that I have never been able to act on this desire of mine makes the lust get stronger with every new quarter. I do hope someone helps me out soon – I just might explode from frustratio

Of course I am a Nanny!

If I have learned anything in college it is that that no one will inquire further about your job if you respond with a story of a screaming baby vomiting on you. This is an important life skill to have.

            My hobbies?

                             Books, and no, I can’t go out this weekend. I’m studying,… the whole time.

I have mastered the art of being unremarkable.  I carefully lie to hide who I truly am because I have seen how the academic word treats those in my industry.

If you have not heard of Belle Knox, you may have been living under a rock. She was a freshman at Duke University when she was outed as a porn star. She trusted one classmate with her secret and within a couple of weeks the whole nation knew.

The whole nation also had an opinion on it: she received everything from encouragement to death threats.  Even with people defending her, I imagine it is nearly impossible to hear the praise when you can’t walk through campus without fearing someone will make good on their violent threats.

After her personal information and the personal information of her parents were posted online she went to the police to help. She was met with slut shaming and implications that she could be at fault for the harassment.

I admire Ms. Knox for the bravery, strength, and intelligence it took for her to not only get through this gross invasion of her life, but to do so with her head held high. She turned this tragedy into a platform to discuss the stigma associated with sex work and the sexuality of women.

I had yet to enter the industry when this occurred, but I followed the media coverage with rapt attention. It was beyond my comprehension how strangers could get so personally insulted by her decisions about her own body. As I followed the events I started to understand how deeply personally people take women’s sexuality. Our society seems to think everyone but the individual has control over a woman’s decision in this regard.

It makes me worried to imagine how many people think they can claim ownership over my sexuality. Our society, and specifically college culture, is guilty of perpetuating the Virgin/Whore Dichotomy.   Women are expected to be as pure and modest as a virgin, but be able to have sex like a whore.   If she has sex she is labeled a slut, but if she refrains from it she is a prude.

The decision to have sex should be each individual woman’s decision, not open for public comment. Sadly, we are not there yet. Until we are, I will continue to join the conversation in ways that protect my privacy.

Every time someone on campus asks me what I do, I think of Belle Knox and I lie. I realize this damages my ability to create any real connections in college, but it is a sacrifice I make to keep my loved ones and myself safe.